The Extratextuals

Now that the TV season’s had 7 weeks under its wing, and the first sweeps weeks are over, let’s look at some of their professors’ midterm grades for the new class, after the fold …

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Failing grades have so far been given to:

• The Beautiful Life – Force-dropped after only one class. Came to class provocatively dressed, and Dr. Ostroff didn’t feel it was cut out for the demands of the class.
• Trauma – Dr. Zucker had problems working out which was Trauma and which was Mercy. Neither showed many signs of achievement in the class, but since Mercy seemed to do marginally better, he decided to cut Trauma for simplicity’s sake.
• Eastwick – Poor test scores continued to hound Eastwick, which saw its viewing numbers drop by over a half. Though this didn’t seem to bother Dr. Iger, other classmates have noted its poor attitude towards women.

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Danger of failing messages have been sent home to:

• Jay Leno – Thinks he’s the class clown, but just isn’t funny, and shows no real sign of having studied for tests. 18-49 ratings have dropped as low as 1.2, and though Dr. Zucker shows ludicrous loyalty to him, meaning failure isn’t likely, he really should be out of here.
• Hank – This student’s scores have gotten worse and worse, reaching a season-low 1.4 in the 18-49 demo rating in its first sweeps week, lower than Eastwick scored before being failed. Update: Hank has now been expelled, officially the fourth new show to get the axe
• the forgotten – Fairly reliable, yet never all that exciting, this student is constantly at risk of failing, stumbling along at a 2.1 rating.
• Three Rivers – Flatlining at a 1.7 rating, this student isn’t doing enough to impress the requiring Dr. Moonves, and may be going home to Pittsburgh unless performance increases.
• Mercy – Earlier confusion over who was Trauma and who was Mercy has not been improved by the failure of the former, as Mercy still looks like Trauma with lousy ratings (worse than Trauma’s, for the record). Mercy is now at risk too.
• Melrose Place – Thinks that its parent’s former success is enough to ride on, but is a real slacker of a student, all gloss and no show. The only current prime time program unable to reach a 1 rating in the 18-49 demo. We don’t like this student, and don’t know who let it into our fine institution

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Showing signs of improvement:

• Brothers – Began with dreadful ratings, but just more than doubled its best rating, jumping from 1 to 2.3 and adding a full 2.9 million viewers to its previous best. Strong performances like this in sweeps, in a new slot alongside football, may save this student from what seemed at first to be certain failure.
• Accidentally on Purpose – Hit a high this week, ranking as the 25th highest in the 18-49 demo, after strong work the week before. Student appears to be hitting her stride

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Struggling:

• Flash Forward – Dr. Iger was quite happy with this student’s initial success, but his/her grades have slid downwards, reaching a low of a 2.6 rating in the first sweeps week. No reason to panic per se, but performance will need to improve. Taking the eyes off the here and now can be risky: don’t get ahead of yourself
• Cougar Town – Dropping a full 0.3 off one’s lowest-rating-to-date in the first week of sweeps isn’t a great way to impress, nor is hemorrhaging almost 5 million viewers since one’s premier
• The Middle – Student plateau’d at a demo rating of 2. Despite a season pickup, it’s not doing well, definitively meh
• The Cleveland Show – Don’t get us wrong, Cleveland’s doing okay, and has shown himself capable of an A. But he had a bad week dropping 0.6 below his previous lowest rating. Mind you, we understand that the entire MacFarlane family had a very bad week
• Community – Has done slightly better of late, but otherwise is still languishing with low ratings

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B+ grades go to:

• The Good Wife – A fairly solid, reliable performer, sometimes up a little, sometimes down, never excellent, but always good.
• Modern Family – Sometimes in the top 20 for ratings, Modern Family’s doing well. Buzz is good too
• Glee – Solid buzz and a welcome sense of humor keeps this student in our good books. Could certainly do better, but has impressed with solid ratings

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A grades go to:

• NCIS: Los Angeles – Some of this student’s early shine has been tempered somewhat, as s/he’s fallen from the top 10 to top 20 in ratings, but s/he’s still doing better than his/her classmates, and should be commended.
• Vampire Diaries – With ratings that might get other students in trouble, it should still be noted that Vampire Diaries is being graded on a different curve, and on that curve is excelling, Dr. Ostroff’s unquestioned favorite, outperforming all her other students

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n.b: transfer student, V, has not yet received a grade. A very impressive start, but we’re concerned by one professor’s comment that “the quality of dialogue made me throw up in my mouth a little”

new shows, ratings cancellations, ratings